Greetings, fellow Americans!

Everyone knows it’s a foregone conclusion at this point. Now you can sign the official guest book that will be self-published in book form and delivered to citizen Trump after the November election. By what authority does this guestbook become the OFFICIAL guestbook? The First Amendment baby! That’s right – this guestbook has been OFFICIALLY recognized by the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. President! Since you’re still unfamiliar with that document after 4 years I’m confident you can get one of your children to Google the First Amendment and explain it to you.

The signing of the guestbook is meant to be limited to American citizens only. President Trump barely cares about us and clearly doesn’t give a crap about the rest of you.